a day before graduation

Some say that graduation is the end of misery from getting chased by a group of heartless assignments and tests.  Some other may say the contrary; that it’s the beginning of life in being an adult. Being a real human. Beneran jadi orang, our grandparents say. 

For me, graduation –this current graduation – feels a lot like hesitancy. Somehow, I don’t get, or yet, that satisfactory grins which usually become the best feature of the graduates. I don’t really feel like I’m cutting the misery, since I actually enjoyed being a student.  Neither have I felt like I owned a significant achievement.  

Tomorrow’s graduation comes terrifyingly. It comes together with two pairs of eyes – my parent’s – filled with pride and expectations. And I’m terrified those eyes will slowly turn into disappointment as my real-life goes by. If only they knew, I was not doing it all so well. I did just fine. 

All and all, I think this pre-graduation jitter comes with terrible feeling of being not more than fine.